Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Turbulence
I’ve probably done twice as much flying in the last few years as I did in the previous 20, now that I have friends and other connections east of the Rockies. Still, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the ways of the modern air traveller. These people have powers of interpretation that I’ll never be able to fathom, much less ever adapt.

For example, in the departure lounge, when they announce pre-boarding for families with children and passengers who may need assistance boarding the aircraft, I’ve never understood that that is my signal to grab my things and jostle for position at the counter. I usually assume that there’ll be another boarding announcement for regular passengers like myself.

Similarly, when the plane lands and the flight attendant asks everyone to remain seated while we taxi to the terminal, I don’t take that as a cue to stand up and start pulling my stuff from the overhead bins. The seasoned traveller knows better, though. Having been flown to his destination at 550 MPH, he's now determined to shave time off his journey. It’s up to him. Every second counts. Some other a-hole out there might hail all the taxis!

4 comments:

Metal Mark said...

I have actually never been on a plane before. I have been in a helicopter twice and it was an Amry helicopter with no side doors so it scared me the first time I was in it.

The Super Robertson Supper show said...

hot tip

smoke a joint before you fly

The Mule said...

Thank you, Ann Landers.

S Robertson said...

I'm always the last one on the plane... a little stretching in the corner.
I figure why sit on that plane for 20 minutes until that last passenger leaps on board with red eyes and a backpack to knock some skulls.
The trick is to be that guy.
I'm with you on the landing... why leap up to stand and wait? Not only that being the last off the plane gives one the opportunity to scour the plane for lost wallets and half full booze bottles.