Difficult Music

Tarkake guitarist Malty has been a man of leisure lately. He’s been woodshedding while on the dole, taking lessons and watching instructional videos. At our last jam he showed us what he’d learned from the John Petrucci guitar regimen so far—how to stretch the arms and limber up the fingers prior to playing. After previewing the next lesson, which included running through scales at 200 bpm, Malty said he’d work on mastering the stretching before moving on.

My seat on the bus Thursday night had “Clapton Rules” written on it (shouldn’t it have read “Clapton is God”?). Enraged by this brazen “tagging” (never mind the fact that Clapton hasn’t ruled since 1967), I immediately went on the lookout for someone with a beard, ponytail, and a Sharpie.