Friday, March 21, 2003

I hate to say it, but I’m feeling marginalized right now. I hate to say it because (a) “marginalized” is such a touchy-feely new-speak kind of word and (b) I can’t think of a better term.

How about two words: “pissed off”? Yeah, that’ll do. You see, on page 86 of this week’s Georgia Straight, there’s an ad for the Chevrolet Cavalier. It’s a huge ad, about 7/8 of the page. The main picture is a city bus coming towards us on a dark rainy day. The destination sign above the front windshield reads “CREEPS & WEIRDOS.” Below that there’s an inset with the tag line “Luckily, there’s an affordable alternative,” along with a picture of the four-wheeled piece of shit in question and the fine print which the dealer will use to anally violate you when you close the deal.

“Creeps and weirdos.” That’s who rides Vancouver buses. Not regular folks who just want to get to work. No, people on transit are all weirdos who don’t drive cars; they’re all creeps who like to sit next to strangers because it probably gets them off. People who use public transit in other cities must all be perverts too. The fast, efficient mass transit in Toronto, Montreal, London, and New York must exist merely to serve the retarded, the schizophrenic, the gropers, the droolers, the frottage enthusiasts, and the smelly. It’s a wonder anyone uses it.

In the bottom left-hand corner of the ad there’s a little 2010 Community Contributor insignia. I’m so glad to see that the Chevrolet/Oldsmobile Dealers of BC are presenting our world-class city in the best possible light. I bet the citizens of Salzburg think their buses are just fine.

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