Difficult Music

Mel and Adam’s Wedding, May 2 to 7, Kaanapali Beach, Maui
When we checked in at the Maui Kaanapali Villas, the first thing I had to sign was a form waiving the hotel of any responsibility for our deaths in the ocean currents. The next day, though, I was happily floating in the sea, just beyond the breakers. The waves were fun to play in too, but they could deposit a diaper-load of sand in your suit if you weren’t careful. Cypress and the other kids loved getting smashed in the surf, playing Tsunami. We were still rinsing sand of her hair after we got home.

The water was unbelievably clear and warm, free of the seaweed and other swimmer-unfriendly crud that fouls the ocean here. Actually, fancylady found a lone floating clump of brown spongy stuff while sculling around on her back. She immediately used it as a merkin, and I nearly inhaled a lungful of the Pacific.

I went cold turkey in Hawaii, spending almost a whole week without any rock. I think my ears needed a rest anyway, coming off a long stint of Unrestrained! work, reviewing stuff, and metal this and metal that. A couple people in the wedding party had rooms with stereos, but ours didn’t. We did have two TVs in our suite, so we alternated between Comedy Central and Animal Planet during our downtime.

I did experience a very light brush with rock royalty during the trip, though. Mel and Adam took us to Maui Tacos twice, where they not only make a damn good burrito, but they’ve got pics of famous customers on the wall, including Alice Cooper and Sammy Hagar!

The wedding was Wednesday at sunset on the beach. Cypress was flower girl and passed out leis to everyone. The justice of the peace was this super cool woman who used to live in Victoria. Mel and Adam did a great job with the vows and afterwards endured the thousands of photographs like troopers. I took a few myself—the Taysers are undeniably cute.

Adam’s dad’s digital camera was quite a conversation piece. It was the size of a brick and used floppy disks for storage. I’ve been in the market for a digital camera for a while; I think want one just like that now.

After the ceremony we all went into Lahaina for dinner at I'o—one of the best restaurants I’ve ever been to. Great food, unbelievable service. Our waiter handled our 14-person table and didn’t break a sweat. The dude had his shit together. Fancy and I had this macadamia nut-encrusted brie appetizer that nearly killed us with goodness.

The whole trip was nice—we had the nicest hotel on the nicest beach surrounded by (for the most part) the nicest people. We needed more time in Maui. We have to go back someday.